First of all, don't agree to do ANYTHING with his mom as the go-between. If he wants to be a part of this baby's life, then he needs to man up and talk with you himself. It sounds like his mom is the only one who is interested in being a part of the baby's life and is making excuses for her loser son. The courts will side with you at this point. He has had no contact with you whatsoever. I would go talk to a lawyer about your options. It sounds like you don't want to keep him from his baby, but your main concern (only concern) has to be the welfare of that child.
You need to take the first step and speak with a lawyer. You have to do this to protect your baby and yourself. Tell them your concerns and that you are willing to allow the father to have his time with the baby, but you do not feel the child will be safe with him. The lawyer can direct you from there.
Honestly, I don't think he's going to be much a part of the child's life, unless he grows up. He sounds very irresponsible and is not doing himself any favors not speaking with you.
Good luck and keep us updated.
Oh, and ignore hateful people on here. Yes, it is easier if you have children only when married, but the reality isn't that way and you have to deal with the situation you are in. I'm sorry people are so rude. Ignore them and God bless.
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